Do you feel as though you’re constantly running after time, but can never catch up? Can it be challenging to relax, with all the things you need to do?
“Sometimes our stop-doing list needs to be bigger than our to-do list” – Patti Digh
As a child—whether I was eating, thinking, speaking, playing with friends, reading, or solving a problem—I liked taking my time. However, I was soon taught that time is a precious commodity that shouldn’t be wasted. That’s when I learned the art of multi-tasking, making endless to-do lists, and being more productive. And while I went on to lead a full and interesting life, the cost in terms of stress levels and their impact on my health was high. It wasn’t until I started meditating ten years ago that I began reconnecting with and valuing the part of me that likes to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n.
The devaluing of slowness
In our society, we associate slowness with laziness, stupidity, lack of direction, and so on. From an early age, we are rewarded (i.e., at school, at home, at work, in sports) for being fast. As such, our culture is highly addicted to speed—and I don’t mean the drug. While there is nothing wrong with efficiency, running from one thing to the next is a great way to numb out and avoid having to feel.
In recent years, we’ve seen counter movements to help people create more space in their lives. The slow food movement sprang up to challenge the fast-food mentality, slow fashion to bring durability back into our wardrobe. SuperSlow exercise is based on the premise that we build muscle more efficiently when we lift weights at slow speeds. And mindfulness has become part of mainstream parlance. Despite these movements, the general trend still seems to favor ever faster and more complex.
The following six tips can help you start slowing down. As counter-intuitive as it might seem, the more you slow down, the more time you will find you have. I promise.
1) Notice your body
When we are living in Speedville, our life is governed by our thoughts, and we lose touch with our bodies. Our bodies may then feel neglected/abandoned (often mirroring how we felt as a child), and may develop physical symptoms, which force us to slow down and change our habits. I invite you to start paying attention to your body periodically throughout the day. (You could program your phone at random to remind you, if you wish.) Are you breathing? Where do you feel tight? If your body had a message for you, what would it be?
2) Connect with what you are trying to avoid
Whenever we are going a mile a minute, we are often trying to fill a void, or avoid something. When you feel as though your life is speeding out of control, I invite you to slow down, and start investigating. Is some part of you needing attention?
Loneliness, grief, shame, and anger are often emotions at the root of avoidance. Once you connect with what is behind the avoidance, make space for your feelings. Breathe into them. Give yourself empathy for whatever is there.
3) Do less
Look at your tasks for the day/week, and prioritize them. And schedule in breaks. Do one thing at a time, as much as possible. Although multi-tasking is highly valued, and to some extent hard to avoid, we are actually more efficient, and so much more present, when we can focus on one thing at a time. “Device-free” time slots—especially the first hour after waking up, and the last hour before going to bed—can change the quality of your day and sleep.
“Sometimes I think there are only two instructions we need to follow to develop and deepen our spiritual life: slow down and let go.” – Oriah Mountain Dreamer
4) Do things more mindfully
Thich Nhat Hanh, the Buddhist Vietnamese monk who has centers in France and the United States, is one of the biggest proponents of applying mindfulness to daily activities. Everything you do can be an opportunity to be mindful. While stopped in traffic or at a light, breathe and touch base with yourself. When walking, slow down, and feel the connection with the Earth with each step. I have found that waiting for BART (the Bay Area Rapid Transit train) is a great time for walking meditation. My favorite, though, is eating meditation: food tastes so much better when I slow down to taste it.
5) Bring yourself back to the present
A key to slowing down is being in the present moment. So much of our mental energy gets expended on ruminations about the past or worrying about the future. When you notice that you are talking to someone or doing something, but your mind is off on a totally different track, gently bring yourself back. Being present takes practice, but it may shift the quality of your life and your relationships significantly.
6) Take stock of what you have
Hurrying is inherently tied to a feeling of scarcity—of not having enough time, or being enough. When we abide in the state of “not enough-ness,” we bring a frenetic energy of fear and anxiety to our doing. One of my most helpful practices is writing a quick list of all the things that went well that day before going to bed, to counteract any part of my mind that tends to latch onto whatever went wrong.
A good way to slow down is therefore to start noticing all the things that are OK (or even good!) about this moment. I invite you to do this right now. Breathe. Feel your body. And ask yourself: What is OK right now? Then start feeling into the perfection of the moment.
© Jenny Brav
