“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us” – Marianne Williamson

In a recent session, a client who has chronic physical pain saw herself unzipping the small, narrow suit she has been trying to fit into since her childhood, and stepping into a big, unlimited self. Her big self (which can also be seen as her essence, or whole self) was free from old patterns of either needing to collapse to be safe, or fight back to try to assert her autonomy. Her body—and in particular her joints and nerves—had so much more space to breathe when it wasn’t trying to fit into others’ ideas of who she needed to be.

Although the degree can vary widely, all of us have been wounded. As a result, we developed beliefs and coping strategies to help us understand and manage those wounds. When our circumstances change, but our beliefs and strategies do not, the latter end up perpetuating the very thing they were designed to fight against. Crises (physical or emotional, internal or external) and feelings of stuckness are usually an indicator that a part of us is ready to grow and evolve, while another (usually younger) part of us is clinging to the old strategies for dear life, terrified of what the consequences might be if we let go. The way forward is for the young self to feel heard, held and acknowledged, while simultaneously realizing that the situation has changed, and that it’s safe to let go.

Here are five tips for accessing your bigness and stepping into your power.

1. Notice your small self

Start tracking what it feels like when you are triggered, reactive, or shut down. How does your body feel? What is your posture like? What are you believing about yourself and the world? Is there a pattern to what triggers you—such as feeling misunderstood, or like you don’t matter? I invite you to keep a journal for a week or more to take note of this.

2. Explore the origins

When we are triggered, we are usually filtering and reacting to the world through wounded child eyes, even though the arguments we use to justify our reactions may tap into our adult faculties of reasoning. When you are feeling reactive or collapsed, ask yourself “what age is associated with this response?”

If nothing comes up, I invite you think about your childhood. If there was an age when you started learning X (whatever belief you identified in #1), what age/ages might it be? It might also be a timeframe more than one age. What were the situations or the people you were learning that from?

3. Send compassion to your small self

Imagine that your adult self is with that young part of you. What would have been helpful to hear back then? For example, “It’s not your fault.” “I’m proud of you.” “You’re not alone anymore, I’m here.” “You did exactly what you needed to do.”

If it feels appropriate, imagine that you are projecting images of your current life to your young self/selves. Let them know that their situation isn’t going to be like that forever, that things are going to change, and that you have resources they didn’t have.

4. Step into your big self

I invite you to close your eyes, and feel back into that feeling of a small self. Imagine that in front of you is your big, wise, essential self. If that’s hard to call up, you can also bring in a powerful energy/being you feel resonance with. For example a tree, a tiger, a mountain, a spiritual teacher or religious figure. Visualize yourself unzipping your small self, and stepping out of it. You can do that as slowly as you need to, over several days or week if necessary. When you are ready, feel yourself merging with your big and wise self and/or with the powerful being you called in. Notice what that feels like in your body. What does the world feel and look like when you look at it through your wise self eyes? Once you feel somewhat comfortable with this big version of you, you may want to bring up a person or a situation that has felt problematic to you. Does looking at it through these eyes shift your perception?

In a recent session, a client of mine merged with mountain energy. When she looked at people who had always been intimidating to her young self through mountain eyes, they seemed much smaller. She could see how they were trapped in their own pain.

5. Creative depiction

I invite you to find a creative way to further anchor this version of you into your body and subconscious. When I say creative, I’m referring to whatever way you have of accessing a deeper part of yourself. You could do this as a guided meditation, or feel yourself stepping into your bigger self as you are hiking, walking, biking, running, swimming, paragliding… You can draw/paint it, write a poem on the theme, or dance the transition from small self to big self. You could do a body sculpture or mime it. A combination is also possible. I wrote a poem entitled “Ode to my small self,” drew a picture of myself shedding the old patterns and fully stepping into my essential self, and have been visualizing it in some of my daily meditation practices. Just in case the universe didn’t get it the first time.

I wish you luck on your journey, and feel free to leave a comment on how that went for you.

The following is a guided meditation for stepping into your wise self.

 

© 2020 Jenny Brav