Are you in a time of change? Do you feel overwhelmed and out of control?

“hold still. stay there. tease back the layers. you are in the space between your comfort zone and infinity. you want to hide. not be seen. not be open. not be vulnerable. but you have to.”

– Jeanette LeBlanc

This is a time of great transition for many people. Even when the change is something we’ve worked hard to achieve, it can still trigger old fears and coping strategies. And if the transition is an unwelcome one, it can definitely turn our world upside down.

As children, many of us experienced change as uncomfortable, disempowering, and at times, threatening to our survival. As such, we often developed coping strategies of control and hyper vigilance to try to feel safe. Big life changes can trigger fear of the unknown and anxiety. It may also be challenging to make smaller transitions from work to the weekend, from wakefulness to sleep, and so on.

 

The following are 6 tips for navigating transition so you can feel grounded and light in moving forward:

1. Notice your response

I invite you to get really curious about your reaction to this period of change. Notice any areas of your body that are calling for attention. What emotions are arising? What thoughts are coming up for you about yourself or the world? You might want to jot down what you are observing in a journal.

2. Identify your beliefs

As you begin to notice your own response, start feeling into a belief about yourself or the World that might be underlying your response. For example, “I’m not good enough,” “I have to control things to be safe,” “change is terrifying.” Is this a familiar belief and feeling? If you wish, you might trace this feeling back to an earlier time, perhaps in childhood, when you felt something similar. What was going on? What led you to develop the belief you just identified?

3. Give yourself empathy

When we are struggling, we often add insult to injury by berating ourselves and resisting our own reaction – i.e. “what is wrong with me?!” While this usually comes from a desire to shift our response, our self-criticism usually only serves to reinforce the parts that are afraid or resistant. You might choose to play with naming and accepting your feelings. I like saying hello to whatever is coming up.

For example: “Hi fear. Hi anxiety. I know you are there. I know you HATE change. I get it. I know that change was often super scary when I was a young. It’s OK to be scared.”

4. Find the ground within

When faced with an uncertain situation, many of us have learned to try to control, manage and predict external conditions to feel safe. That will only lead our minds to spin out of control. The pathway back to safety is through the body and returning to the current moment. Feel your breath. Notice sounds outside. I also encourage finding a short practice you can do every day that helps you feel grounded. A few that I like are: tapping all over my body from top to bottom; shaking for a minute or two; sending my breath down my spine, legs, and all the way to my toes; touching a tree and discharging any anxiety I might have.

5. Invite in new beliefs

Look back at your identified belief about yourself or the world. Now that you have acknowledged your feelings and started finding ways to ground internally, imagine what new beliefs you might replace the old beliefs with. For example “this can be easy.” “I’m creating my own reality, and I’m choosing for this to be fun.” “I am enough.” “My worth is innate and not dependent on my performance.”

6. Do a ritual to mark the transition

I’m a big proponent of rituals to mark the end of one era and the beginning of another (see my blog posts on closing rituals and new beginnings). These practices allow us to take a step back and reflect on what we are leaving behind and what is opening up for ourselves, rather than feeling like we are in the middle of the spin cycle of life.

Here is a brief outline of a ritual you can do either as a meditation, a nature walk outside, or a ritual at home (perhaps lighting a candle, or setting the space in any way that feels good to you). You can also do this as a reflective exercise with your journal:

  • Feel into what is coming to a close for you. What were the lessons you learned? What are you grateful for? What are you wanting to leave behind as you move forward?
  • Feel into the time that is to come. What is shifting for you? What is the theme of this era? What do you want to call in for yourself (this might be qualities, support, or something specific you want to manifest)?
  • What is a question you are sitting with as you enter this new era? For example: How do I let go of what no longer serves me? How can I bring in more ease and joy? You might imagine you are dropping the question into the top of your head and letting it seep into your body. For the next week, pay attention to your dreams, things people say to you, and any messages from the natural World.

May you find peace and ease in this time of change.

Change is the time of the chrysalis –
The soupy mess
Between the caterpillar
And the butterfly.
It is the space from
A and B
We so often try to skip over
In our impatience to arrive.
We forget that there is no future, no there  —
Only the building blocks
Of each present moment
Bleeding into the next.
If I am not here,
Now,
Then I will never arrive.
Because when I land
Into the future
I fret about now,
I will have already jumped
Onto the next worry train,
Having missed the beauty
Of the scenery
Along the way.

© Jenny Brav