Do you feel heavy, exhausted, or stuck? Is some area of your life in crisis, or simply feels like it no longer fits?
“How can you rise, if you have not burned?” – Fatima Ahmad Ibrahim
Have you ever noticed that, when viewed in hindsight, the darkest times in your life are often followed by a sense of renewal or growth? In Shamanic terms, cycles of death and rebirth refer to periods in our life when part of us—be it a belief, a coping strategy, or situation—is ready to die in order to make way for a bigger version of us to emerge. However, the death part of the cycle can feel very uncomfortable when you’re in the middle of it, which is why I’m focusing on that part of the cycle specifically.
The following are possible indicators that you are in a cycle of death and rebirth, as well as four tips that might help you get through the death part of the cycle with more ease.
You might be in a death-rebirth cycle if one or more of these are present:
1. An area of your life (such as your health, finances, relationship, or work) is in crisis
This is often a sign that old patterns no longer serve us, but some part of us is hanging on for dear life, which may lead us into an acute situation.
2. Things feel dense, heavy and dark
Even when the situation is not acute, you might feel weighed down (physically and/or emotionally), and have the sense of wanting to shed something. This could lead to feeling stuck, depressed, lethargic, or irritated/frustrated.
3. You feel like you’re regressing into old patterns
Although this one might feel counter-intuitive, one sign that you are on the cusp of a rebirth is the resurgence of old patterns. This is often the case because whatever young part developed the pattern you are ready to shed is scared and doesn’t know it’s safe, so there’s some backlash to the changes wanting to occur.
4. You’re feeling anxious, and like there’s no ground beneath you
Especially if you have chronic anxiety, these periods of transition will probably trigger fear and agitation. It is important to remember that your anxious thoughts are not telling you the truth of your situation, but are merely indicators of a part of you needing love and attention.
Four tips for cycles of death and rebirth:
1. Identify what you are sloughing off
If one of the above indicators resonates with you, I invite you to get curious about what might be wanting to shift. I.e. if an area of your life is in crisis, what might it be pointing to that’s wanting healing. Is it a belief about yourself or the world? A way of being in the world that no longer fits (such as people pleasing, or needing to be right…)
Although not absolutely critical to the process, it can be helpful to name what it is that you might be letting go of, such as: a pattern of distraction and checking out; a strategy of staying small and under the radar; the need to fight for attention; the belief that you’re all alone…
2. Bring loving attention to the scared/resistant (younger) parts
Once you identify what you’re letting go of, feel into any young part that might be scared, or resisting. Is there an age/age range or memory associated with the patterns? If not, no worries, you can just focus on the feelings.
Send compassion to the part of you that is scared or resisting. This could simply mean putting a hand on a part of your body that feels tight, agitated, numb, or achy. Or you could say some caring words such as “I know it’s scary. Of course it is. This is reminding you of all the times you got the message it wasn’t safe to… And we can hang onto this as long as we want to. And, it’s possible it is safe. We are ready. We have more resources and choices than we did then…”
3. Make space for grief
Just because it’s in our highest interest to grow and evolve doesn’t mean there won’t be grief about letting go of old and familiar patterns and beliefs. It’s important to be gentle and patient, and to make space for grief.
4. Trust
We tend to interpret the death cycles as wrong and bad, which is understandable because they can feel so uncomfortable and/or dire. However, that only leads to resistance and fighting with what is, which prolongs and exacerbates the discomfort. Once you start learning to identify these patterns, you can begin to trust and surrender that whatever is happening is for your highest good.
And even if you don’t know what that is, you can trust that further down the line, when viewed in hindsight, these dark times will be followed by a sense of renewal or growth.
© Jenny Brav
