Are there parts of you that feel unacceptable or impossible to love? Do you sometimes act in ways that you can’t recognize?
“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light,
but by making the darkness conscious.” – Carl Jung
I grew up in a household that emphasized generosity and being of service to others. They were wonderful values to be imbued in, but there wasn’t much room for anger, jealousy, pettiness etc.
On my personal growth journey, I have learned to befriend the contracted, cranky parts of me. I know that if I don’t, they will find unconscious ways to slip out and get my attention. Below are some tips on working with your shadow, as well as a free guided meditation to help you embrace it.
What is Your Shadow?
Carl Jung defined the shadow as the “sum of all personal and collective psychic elements which, because of their incompatibility with the chosen conscious attitude, are denied expression in life.” From my perspective, our shadow constitutes of:
- The parts of ourselves we learned were not acceptable;
- The coping strategies we developed to try to compensate for or hide those parts, and to feel OK.
Naming and Accepting
The minute we feel the need to hide certain parts of us, we actually give them more power, as their energy gets trapped in us. Here are some steps to accepting your shadow:
- Track (without judgment) when you feel contracted in your body.
- Track when you feel reactive or collapsed.
- Notice what triggers a reaction in you when you observe it in others. This will often point you back to your own shadow.
- Allow all of the above to be there and to be OK, without needing to hide/suppress our feelings, or be taken over by them.
When we start accepting and naming our thoughts and feelings, whatever they may be, we allow their energy to move through us. It gives us more choice over our actions so we can start taking responsibility for ourselves, rather than projecting our pain onto others.
Stepping Into Your Power
Our shadow isn’t necessarily just the parts of us that are generally considered negative. It can also be positive parts that never had space to be, perhaps because of the messages we received, and/or traumatic events. These can include our power, joy, trust, and love. When those have no space to be, we often develop false substitutes that may be close matches, but are not the same. Reconnecting and owning the positive parts of us, and learning to fully embody our power, is also an important part of shadow work. It can also give us the strength necessary to do this work.
Guided Meditation to Embrace Your Shadow
The following 8 minute guided meditation will help you track back to when you first got disconnected from certain parts of you, so you can begin to heal and reintegrate.
© Jenny Brav
