Does it seem like there’s never enough (time, money, appreciation etc.)? Do you feel tight and contracted when you think of the future? Do you compare yourself to others to assess how you are doing?
“Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature.” – Steve Maraboli
“Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into” – Wayne Dyer.
Scarcity thinking is tight, competitive and narrow – predicated on the belief that there isn’t enough to go around. We are constantly scrambling – after time, validation, success – in order to prove that we are enough. This mindset is an adaptive response to external threats, and most likely stems from survival strategies developed by our ancestors. When resources are limited, being territorial and aggressive can help give us a competitive edge over others. Nowadays, however, for many of us this survival-based scarcity mentality is a stress-based negative feedback loop, fueled by our beliefs and past experiences rather than our current reality. Instead of helping us survive, it keeps us from thriving and manifesting our dreams.
During a session with one of my clients, we explored what we called her scoreboard – the way she was mentally keeping track in her relationships of who had the upper hand in generosity and giving. Although her scoreboard arose from a childhood experience that her needs were not important and from a desire for reciprocity, at this point it was just keeping her trapped in a small, contracted, and “tit for tat” world.
In this post, I will be describing nine ways of identifying and understanding the scarcity mindset, as well as eight tips for tuning into an abundance mindset.
Nine ways of recognizing when you are in a scarcity mindset:
1. Fight or flight mode
A scarcity mindset is intricately woven into being in survival mode. Many of us live in a state of hyper-arousal, where the slightest stressor gets interpreted by our nervous systems as a threat to our survival. Anxiety, hyper-vigilance, fear, reactivity and defensiveness are often signs of a scarcity mentality.
2. Not enough-ness
The basic premise for scarcity thinking is the idea that there isn’t enough to go around. Whenever we have a feeling that either we or others are not good enough, or that there isn’t enough [time, money, love, etc.] to go around, it is a good indicator that we are in scarcity mode.
3. Competitiveness
When there isn’t enough to go around, we need to fight for what’s ours, or somebody else will get our share. When we are in scarcity mode, we operate on a zero sum game of winners vs. losers. We are constantly trying to prove our worth. Even if we want to, it can be difficult deep down to celebrate others’ happiness and success, because it seems to highlight our own failure. As such, competitiveness, possessiveness, and envy can all point to a scarcity mindset.
4. Right/wrong thinking
Linked to a competitive win/lose mindset is right/wrong thinking. This is a black and white lens through which we view the world. In this mindset, we are constantly trying to prove that we are right, and differing viewpoints feel like a threat to our survival.
5. Keeping score
Another indicator of scarcity thinking is if we have an internal scoreboard that is keeping track of who did what. While fairness and reciprocity are both important values for many of us, tit for tat thinking can prevent us from accessing a space of open generosity and trust. For some people, paranoia and feeling like others are against us may also be tied to keeping score.
6. Waiting for the other shoe to drop
Another aspect of scarcity thinking is that even when things are going well, we are always waiting for something bad to happen. This is also linked to the negativity bias, by which we are evolutionarily trained to pay attention to negative cues in order to survive. As such, our attention is skewed towards remembering what is wrong rather than all the things that are going well.
7. Contraction and tightness
When we are in a scarcity mindset, our body is tight and contracted – ready to pounce at any moment, or in a state of fear. As such, a good way to know if we are in scarcity mode is to track our bodies.
8. Dissociation
Alternately, especially when we have a history of trauma, we may disconnect from our bodies altogether. This may take the form of a freeze state, where we feel stuck and dazed, unsure of what to do. Or our minds may take over, trying to manage everything by trying to figure things out.
9. Collapse or control
Another indicator of operating in a scarcity mindset is when we vacillate between states of collapse and control. In the first, we may feel powerless, hopeless, or in despair, and we have a sense of being at the mercy of the universe and others’ whims. In the other, we are trying to manage and control everything. Linked to the control mode is resistance to what is, and the feeling that things should somehow be different than they actually are.
So now that we have identified when we are operating from a scarcity mindset, how can we shift that?
8 tips for fostering an abundance mindset:
1. Acknowledge the scarcity mindset for its intention
When we make ourselves and our patterns wrong, we are merely reinforcing the right/wrong thinking. The first step to being able to shift out of this mindset is recognizing that we developed it for a reason. Oftentimes, the scarcity mindset is either a direct response to our childhood experience, or a pattern we inherited from our ancestral lineage – or both. Either way, acknowledge how being in survival mode helped you and/or your ancestors survive and get to where you are today. And start feeling into the possibility that this mindset no longer serves you.
2. Connect with your body
As noted above, a surefire way of identifying that you are in scarcity mode is tuning into your body. Start tracking when your body feels tight, numb, or when your thoughts spinning out of control.
Once you notice your patterns of tension and checking out, begin to cultivate ways of connecting to your body. This may be as simple as taking a deep breath or putting your hands on areas that feel tense. Or you may want to take up mindful practices such as meditation, qigong or yoga.
3. Keep a gratitude journal
A great way to counter the scoreboard mentality and the negativity bias is to start tracking all the things that are going well, and all the things you are grateful for. You can carry a notebook around with you to jot things down as they come to you, or write in a journal before going to bed, so the last thing you think of before sleep is all that went well, rather than mulling over problems. This isn’t about ignoring or neglecting actual problems needing attention, but is intended to start shifting your perspective from scanning for what’s wrong to recognizing the beauty accessible in each moment.
4. Acknowledge yourself and others
Once you start developing your capacity for gratitude, continue building that muscle by acknowledging yourself and others. You might also start tracking in your journal all the things you did right. In scarcity mode, we are often waiting for others to acknowledge us, whereas when we start tuning into an abundance mindset, we are able to give that to ourselves. And once you do, I invite you to start making it an intention to acknowledge and appreciate those around you. You may find that when others feel valued rather than criticized, their attitude towards you will shift too. And that way we can start valuing what we have when we have it, rather than just when we lose it.
5. Cultivate a win-win mindset
From an abundance perspective, rather than there being a finite amount of happiness to go around – meaning that if one person thrives, someone else is miserable – we recognize that we are all here to flourish and to inspire others to do the same. So the next time you feel like you have to fight for recognition, or that someone else’s success is taking away from you, ask yourself how things would be if this were a “win-win” game, rather than a zero sum game.
6. Begin to accept what is
Part of what keeps us stuck in a scarcity mindset is the belief that things should be different than they are, which leads us to resist reality. In order to start shifting out of that mode, I invite you to start noticing when you are fighting with the way things are (which might include fighting with how you are). And ask yourself: what is the resistance achieving for me? What would happen if I assumed that everything is as it should be?
7. Go on a technology/media fast
Although technology is an integral part of most of our lives, an over-consumption of news and media can exacerbate a scarcity mindset due to a) advertisements and programs that feed our fears, b) news that is focused on disasters and crises c) a plethora of distractions with which we can check out. For a week, try limiting your media consumption to certain times of the day, and notice how that impacts your perspective on things (including your sleep, which is vital to an abundance mindset).
8. Imagine you are co-creating your life with the universe
When you find yourself oscillating between collapse and control, ask yourself what it would be like if you were co-piloting your life with the universe. Rather than being at the mercy of the world or in total control of everything, see if you can find that sweet spot where you set a course, while trusting that wherever you are has its own wisdom you may not have the perspective to understand right now.
© Jenny Brav
